Across the Border

I spent seven hours driving back into Maryland from my hometown, thinking about everything that has gone on in the past several months, the past several years and where I am today, and the blessed people who made me who I am. I am so lucky to be able to say that the people in my life are real. They are real, and wholesome and full of character.

Facing divorce - with the journey beginning tomorrow afternoon at mediation, I am sad - so sad that the good intentions made during the vows were replaced with doubt and unhappiness. Yet, as with all my blogs thus far, I've tried to anticipate the future with a hopeful heart. I listened to Tracy Chapman, Matchbox Twenty, Jann Arden, Jackson Brown and a slew of other performers trying to find the song that could aptly describe how I am feeling today - the eve of stepping away from the dream I've had my entire life (to marry, love, and enrich my life with an unbreakable union) to an unknown future.

And I found the song, not in a love song, but in a folksy Springsteen song - and like everything he touches, it is perfect. My love and I - that's me and the person I will be when I step across the border. We all have two sides, the greatest thing we can achieve is to co-exist amicably with that other person and if we're lucky, as best friends...

Tonight my bag is packed

Tomorrow I'll walk these tracks

That will lead me across the border

Tomorrow my love and I

Will sleep 'neath auburn skies

Somewhere across the border

We'll leave behind my dear

The pain and sadness we found here

And we'll drink from the Bravo's muddy waters

Where the sky grows grey and white

We'll meet on the other side

There across the border

For you I'll build a house

High up on a grassy hill

Somewhere across the border

Where pain and memory

Pain and memory have been stilled

There across the border

And sweet blossoms fills the air

Pastures of gold and green

Roll down into cool clear waters

And in your arms 'neath the open skies

I'll kiss the sorrow from your eyes

There across the border

Tonight we'll sing the songs

I'll dream of you my corazon

And tomorrow my heart will be strong

And may the saints' blessing and grace

Carry me safely into your arms

There across the border

For what are we

Without hope in our hearts

That someday we'll drink from God's blessed waters

And eat the fruit from the vine

I know love and fortune will be mine

Somewhere across the border