Seeking Synchronicity

Early on in my separation, I felt as though all the pieces of my life were synchronized. For example, my college roommates and I planned a two-day trip to the beach. We hadn't seen each other for over ten years. Two of them backed out due to family responsibilities, and so it was just me and Jo. A week prior to our scheduled beach day, he left the house - we were officially separated. Rather than cancel, we went ahead as planned, and it had a profound healing affect on me. I met strangers at the beach bar and talked with them as though they were my oldest and dearest friends. Ironically, the six people I spoke with were of a different variety in terms of marriage. One was divorced, his sister was married but not happily, myself, my roommate, and another couple who had been happily married for nearly 30 years and they were marriage counselors for their church. I let loose on that day. I revealed everything about my marriage, I cried, and at end of the night, knowing I'd never see them again, we hugged and bid a warm farewell. It has been six months and I still send kind thoughts to all of them. And I think, no I know, that I will meet at least one of them again, and we will hug and catch up. I don't know when, but it will happen at time when they need me as I needed them.

Shortly after that trip, I received a phone call from my old boss asking if I'd like to help him out with some work. Sure. That led me into the job I have now. Then, people just started coming out of the woodwork - friends I didn't know were friends, and they started saying things that clicked. The homily at church was directed toward me, the sunshine was on me, and all the information I needed to initially accept the demise of my marriage came to me piece by piece. I went to talk with my Deacon and told him about this and he said it was a psychological theory by Jung called Synchronicity. I finally understand Sting's songs.

I am seeking synchronicity again because work, kids, personal life, church, friends and family are all compartmentalized now. I had to do that because I couldn't juggle all those things at once. But now, I am ready for the melody. I am in tune for the harmony and I want synchronicity.

I believe firmly that no two events are coincidences, although without the knowledge, I can't understand the causal relationship of some of them yet. The people you meet in your life, even if only briefly, are there for a reason.

I met a man on the airplane when I was traveling solo to be at my sister's side when she had her mastectomy. We started talking about the hospitals in Buffalo. I mentioned my nephew Jake and his surgeries done at Children's Hospital. And he asked, "Who was Jake's doctor?" When I answered, he started to cry and he said, "He performed surgery on my daughter and saved her life." I still think about that man. I was torn up on that airplane ride, and our common bond comforted me, and I would like to believe, comforted him. Coincidence?

A friend of mine had a similar situation. She wasn't sure if she wanted children. She sat next to an older woman who had three adult children and had just lost her spouse. And she told my friend that without her children, she would be lost. She told my friend in no uncertain terms to have children with her husband. My friend still talks about that woman as she holds two unbelievable happy babies on her lap. Coincidence?

Synchronicity, in a way. Imagine everything that happens in your life, synchronized like a beautiful symphony. I felt pieces of it for a while. I want it again. Perhaps it is just being open to finding meaning in everything. Perhaps it just happens. Perhaps I think too much?  I'll let you know when it happens again.