Back in the World Again

ʺEvery day when I open my eyes now it feels like a Saturday. . .ʺ 

It all started on a mini-vacation to North Carolina and I made the firm decision to enjoy the vacation - without work anxieties or other things getting in the way.  So I started walking every day - all by myself in the woods behind the house.  It was there that I discovered I was walking toward the entrance back into the world again.

Funny, I did not know I was out of the world until then.  I realized that with every step, I was ʺtaking down from the shelf the parts of myself that I packed away.ʺ  Now I am on week four of walking every day and it is so amazing to me that I was never lost, I was just hidden somewhere inside all the little things that I allowed to accumulate on top of me.  On one of these walks I was reminded of a conversation I had with a very dear person in my life for a short time (a therapist) and she said, ʺthe only things you can control are what you do with your body and what you do with your mind.ʺ It made a lot of sense way back when she said it (circa 2008) and I lived with the truth of those words for a very long time, but forgot to remember them for far too long and so they got buried beneath the aforementioned little things.

A short time ago, the kids and I had a ʺWorld War IIʺ Saturday, meaning we watched two movies back to back that were based on World War II.  The first was Unbroken and the second one we watched was Hacksaw Ridge.  If anyone is stuck on the meaning of perseverance, watching these movies should educate you.  The next day I went to a BodyPump class at the gym, and after about 45 minutes of crippling weight lifting, we got to the shoulder work out.  I am, as are many women, weak in the shoulders, and the pain came quickly.  I was sweating and swearing and so close to putting down the weights but I closed my eyes and saw the scene in Unbroken where he not only held the wood on his shoulders but lifted it up after hours of torture, and I heard the words of Paige's hero, Desmond Doss, ʺjust one more, Godʺ.  Of course, him running into guns and incensed Japanese men to save ʺjust one moreʺ is very different from a fourth or fifth rep above my head, but I used these movies to push myself.  (Now, of course, I can't lift my right shoulder without cursing in pain because of an angry rotator cuff, but thatʹs another story).  I had control over my body by using my mind!  Brilliant! 

Mind, body, beauty, gratefulness and bravery.  These are the things that accompany me on my walks now.  I spit on fear, I kick at and pick at worry, and I let it go.  ʺItʹs the only way to be. . . naked like a tree. . .ʺ

Read this:

Every day when I open my eyes now
It feels like a Saturday
Taking down from the shelf
All the parts of myself
That I packed away
If it's love put the joy in my heart
Is it God by another name
Who's to say how it goes
All I know is
I'm back in the world again

Like the lift of a curse
Got a whole different person
Inside my head
No more trudging around
Stony eyed through the town
Like the living dead no
It's love that lifts us from the dark
Is it God by another name
Who's to say how it goes
All I know is
I'm back in the world again
Back in the world again

It's the only way to be
It's the only way to be
I'm naked like a tree
It's the only way to be
I'm naked like a tree
It's the only way to be

Less than sand on the beach
Staring into the reaches of space and time
I'm singing out words
But the voice that I hear
It seems barely mine
If it's love put the song in my heart
Is it God by another name
Who's to say how it goes
All I know is
I'm back in the world again
Who's to say how it goes
All I know is
I'm back in the world again
Back in the world again

It's the only way to be
It's the only way to be
I'm naked like a tree
It's the only way to be
I'm naked like a tree
It's the only way to be, the only way to be, the only to be, the only way to be, the only

Every day when I open my eyes
Yeah yeah
Every day when I open my eyes
Yeah yeah 

Read more: David Gray - Back In The World Lyrics | MetroLyrics