Pride

There is the good pride and the bad pride. Good pride: holding your hand over your chest and singing God Bless America, and really feeling it; watching your daughter/son/friend perform something - graduation, wedding, school play, birth of a child; and of course, those proud moments for yourself - when you can look in the mirror and be happy with the person reflecting back.

Then there is the deadly sin of pride. The pride that gets in the way of relating to another human being - that false pride, giving people attributes that are uncharacteristic of that person simply because it is easier than facing the fact that you might have had something to do with something that got muddled up in the relationship. Of course, I have firsthand knowledge of it - I've been a victim of it many times... getting blamed for something another person did.

Humility is the opposing virtue. I am certainly on the opposite side of pride - more humble than most. It was my upbringing... I was taught humility at an early age. For instance, my family tortured me. I was the youngest, I'd have a proud moment, start bragging, and hear "big deal;" or worse, "Cry Carrie.... cry Carrie..." over and over again in an unending chant, led by my sister in Soprano and followed by the bellowing voices of my brothers. And what did I do? I didn't stand up, puff out my chest, tell them they were all insensitive pieces of crap!!! I cried. I was humbled out of my proud moments. Perhaps this accounts for my fluctuating self-esteem, but I'm getting a handle on it. I moved away, so when they start to chant, I just hang up the phone! Ha!

But seriously, we've all met those pompous, tunnel-visioned, chest-puffed-out-preachers, haven't we? I can't stand them! There is the pride you see when winning, say, a spaghetti-eating contest and making your brother puke, and then there is the pride that belittles another person because of their salary, color of their skin, gender, orientation or simply because they choose to do something as simple as stay home with their kids instead of bank a ton of money.

Be humble. Be humble. It is so much nicer... and when you're humble you have a sense of who you really are, a close relationship with the pieces that make you tick. It's not hard either. Just spend the day with my family...