A New Day on the Horizon

The coffee is strong this morning, warming my tongue and throat, heavy in its aroma and in its ability to perk me up.  It's Tim Horton's, after all.

I awoke grinding my teeth again.  My jaw and neck ache from it, yet I realized as I stepped out into the 80 degree weather at 5:55am that for the next week or so, a shift in my life will occur.  I also realized that the two pieces of pumpkin pie left over that I made for Paige and Tony will likely get thrown into the garbage can because they won't step foot into this house for over a week.  The dogs are going to be in a tizzy when they wake up every morning next week and I'm not there to kick them out of the way as I groggily descend the stairs to let them outside and then feed them.  I wonder if Gracie will sit on the rug in front of the kitchen sink and look up at the coffee maker while it doesn't brew. 

I am leaving my responsibilities for this house to Jessica.  Last night, she pulled out a sheet of paper and said, "Okay, what are my duties?" 

We started with the pool and the chemicals it needs; how to get the filter up and running; how to vacuum; how to dial my friend Bryan's number when she gets confused - he's my "on-call" pool boy.

The next thing we talked about was the lawn - mowing and watering the sod; watering the hanging flowers in the front; keeping Enzo from tearing up the wet sod and rolling in the mud puddles (lest mopping be on her to-do list).  

Oh, the dogs.  Up early, feed, let out. Oh, the duties that are required because of the dogs.  Every detail left to the imagination. 

She became visibly overwhelmed at this point.

Garbage and recycles go out on Sundays and Tuesdays. 

I'll leave an emergency number with her in case any of my family needs to get in touch and my cell phone coverage is jacked.

Have fun!

Since she works full-time, it's a lot to handle.  So, I vacuumed the pool last night, put in some of the necessary pool chemicals, mowed the lawn and will weed-wack later this morning for her.  She crossed those things off her list and was a little less overwhelmed. 

I will be free of these duties!  I will be forced to ignore the nagging voice in my head that pushes me to make appointments for the kids (physicals due), the dogs (shots due), and myself (dentist due).  I will be forced to ignore the scrolling grocery list that invades my brain every other day.  I will be forced to know that I may not be able to answer any emails or phone calls from prospective employers.  I will be forced to let go of the ex angst.  I will be forced to be engaging and creative and less worrisome. 

Oh, and I'll have to learn to walk without the heavy baggage of my usual loneliness that comes from the absence of Paige and Tony.  I might have to drink some V8 so I am not walking at an angle.

I anticipate that this will not be as relaxing as a vacation on the beach but that it will have a longer-lasting effect on my psyche and well-being.  How many people can spend a week in the mountains with people who are similarly obsessed with writing?  I am lucky.  But more importantly, I will be practicing the essence of me.  Free.

The coffee sure tastes good this morning.  Next week I will be tasting it a few thousand feet above sea level, and a few thousand feet closer to heaven.  Tasting Tim Horton's in the mountains... should be a treat.