A Week Long Vacation in the Stratosphere

"...and you know it's really hard to hold your breath.  I swear I lost everything there ever was to fear..."

Okay, I realize that the last post was unlike many of my other posts - it was a creative endeavor to show you all just how much I learned at the writing workshop, and it is a rather funny story.  Consider the line:  My hippie fell down... hard!  That's funny stuff all by itself.  Yet, I realize that my regular readers are breathing a sigh of relief - "phew - her voice is back", you might be saying.

Yes. That is true.  The above quote is true as well.  Up in those mountains, I swear I lost everything there ever was to fear.  Much of the fear came from my doubting my abilities in writing, and what I realized while I was up there was that I didn't care if I was a lousy writer, right now.  I want to be a better writer, of course.  Yet the whole process is such a turn-on.  Dorky.  Sure. I like to write - how it makes me feel when I nail a sentence or a sentiment or a description.

At one point, while I was up there, I had a heavy wave of insecurity hit me upside the head.  I was surrounded by some brilliant writers and I thought, "I can't compete."  Then the voice of my father whispered in my ear:  "Compete only with yourself."  (I actually called him today to thank him).  The truth is, I like writing and I will continue to do so and I will continue to improve.  In the meantime, I will try out different styles on this blog (as I did in the previous post) but I will continue, also, to have the Carrie voice you are used to.  (See?  I just ended a sentence with a preposition!)

And so.... how was the writing workshop, you ask?  On an academic level, I learned a bunch.  It will come into play as I revise and revise my manuscript.  You may even sense some subtle changes to my writing on this blog.

On a visceral level - way down in the gut - I realized that my life is in my own control and being on the mountain, although certainly not so dramatic as to be life-changing, made me realize some things.

I refused to turn my computer on or visit the internet.  The only people that I called were Paige and Tony and that was because I can't breathe very well without their breaths.  I realized that I can survive without the constant bombardment of emails, facebook messages (not that I am that big into facebook) and surfing the web for innocuous information.

So that was good.

Most importantly, I met some people up there that I think I was destined to meet.  (As you know, I don't believe in coincidences).  I met people that needed to speak with me and people that I needed to speak with - even if it was just for those moments of sharing stories.  With some, I shared laughter.  With others, sorrow.  Yet the common thread was that they were genuine.  For that I am grateful because I truly believe that if God made these people, he must really like me too.

I'll end with that thought, and hopefully, will have more to say about it tomorrow.