Waitin' on a Sunny Day

Okay, I'll talk about them. I'll open up and talk about... THEM.

The feelings.

The anger.
The fear.
The pain.
The hate.
The want.
The need.
The worry.
The anguish.
The grief.

I'll talk about them. Where to start? Where to start!

I am worried about my Mom, first. My dad, second. My siblings, in this order: Jeff (obviously), Cliff, John, Chuck, Dana, Jim, Corinne, Kathy, Lisa, Lynn... I suppose the order could be turned around a bit, given the day. I worry about Jeff's best friend, Jeff Popple. I worry about me too. Not so much, I'm okay. But I worry.

That is emotion number one.

Emotion number two: frustration. Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why Jeff? Why Lynn? Why now? Why then? Why?

Am I starting to sound like Dr. Suess?

I started this blog with something as innocuous as divorce. It seems so absurd to think about that as having any meaning. It does have meaning, of course it does. But at this point into the game - it means very little. The grief and worry I feel about that hardly compares. These days it seems tolerable to know myself as a divorcee - I can swallow it down now. Yuck. Still tastes terrible, but whatever.

I'm angry too. So pissed off that this happened to someone with such a magnetic personality... Jeff is the guy that can charm a snake. He'd piss people off, but it was mostly because he has it figured out. He once visited me in Dayton while I was in law school and hung out with the smartest chick in our class. I didn't like her much and couldn't figure out why he was talking with her. (She was cute, but I cut through her personality quickly, I couldn't understand why he was into her). He talked to her for awhile and I sat down next to him to listen in on his conversation with her - figuring he must have some idea of the kind of girl she was... here's how it went: He had her in his web and he looked deeply into her eyes and said, "You have the most incredible blue eyes..." She gushed, blushed, batted her eyes and said, "thank you." And he said, "But that's about it..." and stood up and walked away. He looked over at me and winked.

That is Jeff.

I miss him. I just want to talk to him.

I know my family feels the same. I know this.

Perseverance. Perseverance. Perseverance. Perseverance. Perseverance.


It's rainin' but there ain't a cloud in the sky
Musta been a tear from your eye
Everything'll be okay
Funny thought I felt a sweet summer breeze
Musta been you sighin' so deep
Don't worry we're gonna find a way

I'm waitin', waitin' on a sunny day
Gonna chase the clouds away
Waitin' on a sunny day

Without you I'm workin' with the rain fallin' down
Half a party in a one dog town
I need you to chase the blues away
Without you I'm a drummer girl that can't keep a beat
And ice cream truck on a deserted street
I hope that you're coming to stay

I'm waitin', waitin' on a sunny day
Gonna chase the clouds away
Waitin' on a sunny day

Hard times baby, well they come to tell us all
Sure as the tickin' of the clock on the wall
Sure as the turnin' of the night into day
Your smile girl, brings the mornin' light to my eyes
Lifts away the blues when I rise
I hope that you're coming to stay Copyright - BRUUUUUUUUUUUCE!