Out The Other

Right now, Paige & Tony are watching a documentary on how sugar is made. The process is rather disgusting, but they are so into the show! I had to walk away. I just don't care about it right now... Yes, I care about the children and their enrichment, but sugar? Come on, really?

Life has changed.

The robotics of life have changed. Everything is clearer, more precise, sharper. It is much easier to let something go in one ear and out the other. Doesn't matter. Friends, who are not "really" friends [yet, maybe], who complain about the little things - out the the ear. Anything that is not concentrated on the greater good - like, prayers for my brother, feelings of good will toward others, laughter, God... out the other...

It's weird to feel so precise in what is real. It's strange to have that knowledge. Maybe it's a gift. Maybe it's just, well, LIFE, or rather, the life we're supposed to have. I don't know. Like any other human being, I question myself and wonder if the beliefs I hold are worthy of, even, sharing. Yet I've learned that to not share them, to not understand them, is a disservice to myself. Who the hell knows? Life is so complex. We, as a people, have no idea. We're not that smart.

What I do know is what is in my heart.

I want my brother to get better - and soon. That's really all there is right now. My goals, my dreams, my thoughts, my patterns are set by the path of his healing. And that is all that matters to me right now. All other things...

in one ear, and out the other.