Beautiful & Blue

Life is interesting. That is a pretty general statement, but it is true, nonetheless. It is interesting the way the sky changes every day and night. I came home last night, looked up at the sky and saw the darkest blue I have ever seen at night-time - not black, blue with huge, billowy white clouds scattered throughout it, with one or two stars pinpointed in the deep blue. I was awed because I had never seen the sky like that in my life. I've been around for 36 years, and not once have I seen the sky like that! I said a thank you to that sky and I said a prayer for my brother. Interesting juxtaposition of two emotions - gratitude and worry connected in the same thought.

It is interesting the way friendships form. I spoke with a new friend last night and just felt comfortable with him, immediately certain that I trusted him. I told him so too. I spoke with an old friend that I haven't seen in a couple years and felt exactly the same way. It's interesting because I think about the last couple of weeks I've had - certainly the most worried I've ever been, certainly the most pleading with God I've ever been, certainly the most stressed I've ever been - yet, in light of that, I am afforded the opportunity to meet and re-meet two people that I intuitively know are good people. Is this the grace that God affords us when our life is inside a whirlpool of seemingly turmoiled waters? I think it is.

I've learned that when I try to control things - I grow frustrated. This is a new lesson, for sure. I can't control the progress of my brother's recovery. I can't control the people in his life. I can't control any of it. I just have to find certainty in what is given. The sky changes every day and night, and I can't do anything about that except notice it, be grateful for it, and wait for the next scene. Same goes for my brother's recovery. God controls the beauty of the sky. God controls the beauty of his health. I just have to sit and wait for it.

Life is interesting. Life is... good - in a confusing, why-can't-I-just-get-what-I-want-when-I-want-it perplexity that compels everyone, everyone at some point, to find patience, compassion, gratitude and yes, grace.