Judge Not Lest Ye be Judged

I spent the evening intermittently thinking about a comment that was left on my last post:  Judge not lest ye be judged.  The anonymous person rightly called me out on my statement by saying, figuratively, I had my head up my ass when I wrote:  "It's okay to be judgmental... ."

Let's get my opinion straight - on a general level, it is NOT okay to be judgmental.  We should all be kind, compassionate, empathetic and sympathetic souls, walking rightly with God and using Jesus as our example.  That is the edict in the bible, and yes it did ring a bell somewhere.  And on a general level, I try to follow this edict.  Yet, in times of grief and trying to grow and be a better person (which was the context of my previous post), it is okay to feel what you're feeling - if being judgmental, or stubborn, or angry is where you're at... it's okay.  Just be real about yourself.

I recently read somewhere that there are two kinds of people:  There is the person who is self-aware and there is the person who thinks he is self-aware.

What followed was an introspection on myself:  am I in the former or the latter category?  How do I know?  I think I'm self-aware, but wouldn't that put me in the second category?  It's a catch 22, you see?

So, to the extent that I am self-aware, I am going to give my opinion on the title of this post:  Judge not lest ye be judged.

First off, my confession that I am secretly judgmental of those who have divorced, is really no secret.  It makes me sick, still, to think that there are men (and women) out there who have children with a spouse and choose to walk away without even trying to fix things. (This is my own personal baggage, you see?  I have good friends who are divorced and I don't judge them because I know them and their stories - yet, in my heart, I judge "those others" whose story I don't know, which by the way, leads me to the sin of assuming things about people, of which, I am sure to be judged).  I have always been judgmental of this, and in my smugness as a married woman who never  thought it would happen to her, I was even more judgmental than I am now.  And, even worse is the man (or woman) who does it not once, but twice, three times or even four times.  I judge them.  Forgive me.

I also judge people who would rather buy a new laptop than pay their mortgages;  who would rather suck from welfare than find a job; who would rather sleep with strangers than find companionship;  who would rather spout off about atheism than give God a chance; who would rather cuss at the homeless person than throw 'em a couple bucks; who would rather talk about somebody behind their back than talk to that somebody honestly and openly.

I am judgmental of these kinds of actions.

Yet, I am tolerant too.  I am tolerant because of the fact that I know that people are on a journey - that we are here, not to live it up, but to learn.  I am tolerant of the louse who leaves his first three wives to find "the one" at number four because I have to be.  We are all lost, and if it means that he finds himself on number four or onto number five, then great - he's making headway.

The same goes for me.  It's okay that I am judgmental.  I am learning.  I am on a journey, and whatever I am feeling is okay because if I look back on my close-mindedness of yesteryear, I have made a few strides forward.  So, on judgment day, when I'm facing God, I'll answer with the wisdom I have at that time.  Perhaps, by then, I will no longer be judgmental.  I hope so anyway.

Funny thing too, about the comment that was left, my first reaction was to be defensive.  To answer the question: "ring a bell somewhere?" with an equally condescending question but then I realized that it doesn't matter; it gives me the opportunity to explain what I meant.  I wanted to answer by noting that I am judgmental of divorce, and that divorce is not accepted on a biblical level either (same as judge not lest ye be judged) but that would have just left me in a quandary.  If divorce is bad, and I'm judgmental of divorce, then I'm wrecked in two ways, and I can't even redeem myself by saying that I am judgmental of divorce!

Ah well, that's my opinion - not necessarily my advice.