Monday, October 18, 2010

Fall Back on Love

I spent the morning worrying.  I spent the morning sad, thinking about the profound impact that death has had on my life.  I worried with my mother for over an hour and a half. I laughed with her too.  She asked me if I thought Dad was with Jeff. 

"Absolutely, Mom.  Greater than their death is our love for them.  How can they not be together?  They are love." 

"Yeah, I think so too."

After that, I'm not sure what we said to each other, neither of us could talk.

The morning was spent worrying about money; about having such a tough time finding employment; about bills to pay, mouths to feed, charity I'd like to give...

Worry.

And I heard, "Let tomorrow worry about itself."  Jesus spoke that.

And then I closed my eyes and my head was filled with one thought:  Fall back on the love.  Fall back on the love.  Fall back on the love.

And that is what I intend to do.  Today is my brother Cliff's birthday. What better day to make a cake?  So when the kids get back from dinner with their dad, they will be welcomed home to Cliff's cake, candles and all and I'll make them sing and we'll send the video to Cliff and we'll scarf down on cake.  Then the three of us are going to grab our Wii remotes and Mario, Luigi and Toad are going to conquer World Number One.  After that, we'll get ready for bed - a warm bath, lotion, warm pajamas, a fun show (maybe America's Funniest Home Videos), about six books cuddled in my bed and stories about everything and anything.  We'll say our prayers and end the day satiated. 

It's the only way the worry, the stress, the sorrow and the pain can be cushioned.  The love always exists, conquered by nothing.  The battle is won if you just remember that in times of strife you need to fall back on the love.

And there's a lot of love around you.

1 comment:

Cliff Fazzolari said...

Thank you for singing...I heard it all the way up here!

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