I Shall Overcome

I came into this world as a daughter and a baby sister known as Carrie Lynn Fazzolari. Since 1972, I've become much more - a friend, a girlfriend, a former friend, a former girlfriend, a wife, a former wife. But always a daughter and always a baby sister.

I swam in the crystal clear waters of love, marriage and motherhood. I traversed through the blessed and not so blessed rivers of the marriage, and came to trudge through the muddy, muddy waters of divorce.

Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same.

I took my vehicle to the shop. It should be fixed in a couple weeks.

My computer is finally working again.

As the tooth fairy, I have an on-going pen pal relationship with my daughter. [Questions asked yesterday: Are you a boy or girl? (Girl) What is your name? (Tammy)Questions asked today: Where do you live? Do you have wings? What is your favorite color? I'll answer and sign it "Love, T.F."]

The ovarian cyst is shrinking, even though it feels like I'm in labor 18 hours out of every day. But I know that one day, I'll give birth to it and find a blessing in the fact that it has subsided.

I met my deadlines at work with flying colors.

My lawn is mowed, my garden tilled (thanks to Jim), the clothes are clean, the house is picked up, I got four straight hours of sleep last night, and was able to toast with my neighbor and cousin to my new found freedom of being single again.

For nearly eight years, I went by another name; became another person by virtue of my marriage vows. And now, I am back to having the name I was born with, with one less older sibling. Things have changed.

I don't know much about coping with the lack of joy in my life right now, but a smile and laugh every once in a while lets me know that one day I may find it again; perhaps not as joyful because of the big flippin' void, but it will come again. Because life is about Hope. Faith is the anchor of the soul. And Love doesn't go away.

Eventually, the fear of losing it at church will subside, and I'll step through the church doors and face God again. I've had the intentions to do so every weekend and I've somehow avoided it. But things change, and I realize how much I really miss it. (Is it okay to where dark sunglasses in church?)

Divorce. Death. Illness. Work. Single Motherhood. Fear. Grief. Life itself.

Love. Hope. Faith. Compassion. Laughter. Kindness. Security. Life itself.

Life's about changing, but some things stay the same.

I am Carrie Lynn Fazzolari, and always was, and very proud to have overcome, even when life itself moved around me.