Quiet and darkness was forced upon me last night. The high winds downed a couple trees and caused the electricity to go out. I was forced to call him and ask that he keep the kids over night and bring them to school this morning since it wasn't clear when the electricity would return. I spoke with Paige and Tony and assured them that I indeed missed them and would pick them up early from school. It was 7 pm and I had the entire night before me, with nothing to do but sit in darkness.
I pulled every candle from their hiding places throughout the house and brought them all up to my bedroom. I lit every one and was blessed with the wavering light as I sat on the mattress in my bedroom and pulled out my notebook, writing down thoughts and de-stressing after a long, long weekend. After writing, I closed my eyes but sleep evaded me. I said a quiet prayer that the electricity would return so I could watch the Grammy's and thereby, pass the time. But the electricity did not return. After some time, I drifted into a sound sleep. I awoke at 5am, refreshed and solid. When I opened my eyes, I realized that a good night's sleep after this terrible weekend was all that I needed. I thanked God for holding off on returning the electricity.
The morning has given me a sense of peace again. The stresses of this life shall be overcome. The elongated whoosh of migrating birds over my head as I stared at the rising sun reminded me that life moves forward, and my sister's words after she found out she had breast cancer came to me in a rush: "The only way to go is forward." The silent encouragement of my friends and family, the not-so-silent advice of my parents, the happiness on my children's faces, the enormity of God's ever-changing canvas and this feeling inside, all of these things, are the ingredients for love. I am surrounded, cushioned and cuddled up beside it.
In light of my last post, this is much, much better. The sadness still exists, even as I write this, I cry, but this too shall pass. We all have to just keep moving forward and one day, I'll take the hands of all my great support and return the gesture in kind.
The Happy Six and Me
Sometimes you meet a person and you feel instantly connected. I had that experience this past Friday except it was with six people. I’ll r...
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Fifteen years ago. Everything changed. The morning was pleasant. Working on a Dream was released. Bruce was going to sing at the Superbow... -
Sometimes you meet a person and you feel instantly connected. I had that experience this past Friday except it was with six people. I’ll r... -
I wonder if my best writing is behind me. I wrote Eyes on the Horizon amid great mourning. My heart was broken, my marriage was disintegra...
1 comment:
Living is the complete experience of happiness as well as the turmoil of the heartbreak - I read a quote from Bruce when he wrote Nebraska - he said - "Sometimes, it feels good to wallow in the dark thoughts."
I always wondered about that - but found it in my own heart - I write just as well in despair as in happiness - and always went with whatever emotion I was feeling and struggled through.
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