Fuzzy

When I was in law school, I received a letter from my father. This wasn't uncommon, he wrote me notes my whole life. I'd go to my mailbox in college and it would be there. I even have one that dates back to 1974 - I was two years old and it was a postcard with Mickey Mouse on it. He sent it to me from Florida, where he was working in order to provide for his family of eight. I still have every note, and the number is pretty high because every time he made my lunch, I'd get an "I love you." But the letter he wrote to me in law school contained some advice that I've struggled to live by since receiving it.

"Whatever you do, compete with no one. Compete only with yourself." He wrote this at the end of a two page letter written on yellow legal paper. Nice, huh?

I find that I am in a constant competition with myself these days. The voice of reason versus the voice of illusion and you know, the voice of illusion is holding on tight. It always has though, that's what makes me unique, I think. I've always been a dreamer, an idealist. I'm a Pisces and we need dreamers in this world! But my pride, when my illusions aren't met is rather trampled - every time.

But what about Fuzzy? My dad. How many illusions were trampled in his life? He raised six kids with my mother. All of us full of spunk. Every single one of us torturing them just by being who we are. I mean, for example, every single one of us totaled a car - some of us (I didn't) did it twice or more. He went to bed every night and woke up every morning for us. And anyone who has lived knows that there are some mornings when you just don't want to get out of bed - when walking away seems the braver thing to do. But cowards walk away. That's another thing my dad told me. He called me last week, his heart a little broken over losing a man he considered his own son and said "You be brave, there are enough cowards in this world."

I ask you, how in the hell did I get to be so blessed? And it's not illusion. It's my dad.