Life is Just a Fantasy

They're calling for snow in the next couple days. It will be a light dusting and will fade away in minutes, but if we're lucky, an hour. It would be nice if we got hit hard with a three foot blanket, but I have come to realize that my desire for a blizzard in Maryland is simply a fantasy. Which gets me to my point - or at the very least, segues into a point. Maybe?

It's not so bad to have fantasies, is it?

Who hasn't imagined themselves as a lottery winner, where money is that blanket of snow? I know I have. Ah, with money, I could do anything.

Really though? Really? What exactly would I do? Probably take a couple more vacations, get somebody else to fix up the house, pay off all my debts and the debts of my family. But then what? Would money repair the damage to my heart? Would money get me even more of those good-in-the-core people that I already have in my life? Would money change everything? Or would it change nothing? I'd like to think it wouldn't change much on the inside. And the debts? They make life interesting, don't they? So, ah, I don't need to win the lottery. I have what I need - truly.

Or how about being famous? I've fantasized about that - famous like Angelina Jolie, an ambassador to the needy countries, traveling the world with all those kids, being photographed all the time, walking the red carpet with Brad... It would be nice, wouldn't it? Um, NO!

How about the perfect marriage? Anybody fantasize about that? I know I do, did, do, did. Ha - "I do!" Funny stuff, eh?

What it all comes down to is that every wish has a curse, and every fantasy has a drawback, and every desire should be quenched, not with things, but with acceptance of the situation. I'm broke. So what? I'm an average girl in America. So what? I'm a single mother of two very beautiful children - proof that my fantasy of the perfect marriage was a bit tainted, but so what?

Am I happy all the time? Nope. Am I sad all the time? Nope. Do I get lonely? Yep. Do I have awesome people in my life? Yep.

You know what I fantasize about these days? I fantasize about Thursday mornings after having played darts in the Wednesday night dart league. I joined a dart league so that for three hours, once a week, I can be Dart Queen. I'm good - better than average, really. I fantasize about waking up on Thursday mornings and feeling the pats on the back, hearing the compliments, and still wearing the Dart tiara from the previous night.

What would be even better than that though would be to wake up on Thursday morning wearing the tiara and looking out the window with Paige and Tony and seeing seven feet of snow. That would be nice. Really, really nice.

I guess I just have to settle for green grass and a tiara-less head though.

And that's really okay in the whole grand scheme of things because at least, unlike Angelina, I don't have to worry about being compared to Jennifer Aniston, or whether or not my accountant is stealing my money, or whether or not Brad will meet another leading lady. I just have to go to bed and wake up, look out the window, and be disappointed by the Maryland weather. But one day, I just might see a blizzard.

Ah, who am I kidding?