The Power Inside

Many squats, push ups and planks later. . .

My body is screaming --- inner thighs, inner rib cage (there's muscle there?), shoulder blades, biceps. . .

Ah.  Feels good. 

I listened to an Eminem song and he talks about exorcising his demons, having them do jumping jacks.  It's a nice play on words, and as my lungs fill and release, I understand.

I've spent many years feeding the demons, making them stronger, and giving them a voice.  We've all got them, unfortunately, and we let them grown inside us, overtaking our heart and our soul. 

Good news for us.  They only live in our tiny brain, on a couple of circuits that seem to hold all the power.  I'm no electrician, but I know that you can break a circuit and rewire it so that a light shines somewhere else.

In an unabashed way,  I am going to mix metaphors and say that I pulled the plug, I plucked the weeds, and stomped on the badness.  It wasn't too hard either.  If you read my posts previous to this one, you'll see that I told negativity to beat it, and I dropped my need for escaping into my phone --- playing games and counting likes or dislikes.

It's refreshing. 

For the past three mornings, despite my chest cold and raw throat, I've gone to bed before 9:00 p.m., set my alarm to wake before 6:00 a.m. and I've been entertained by crazy dreams that wake me, force me to take a couple gulps of water, snuggle in with the cat, and endeavor in some more. Yesterday I dreamed of a recipe for grilled cauliflower --- it looked delicious, and I can hardly wait to try it.

When my alarm goes off, I wake up without hesitation, throw on my sneakers and get out the door.

I've settled for gazing at the stars instead of shooting for the moon because sometimes life is just about that.  Life is just about gazing at the stars. . . taking a moment to relax and just be.

I'm not all that big into meditation, but I did it a few times over the past couple of weeks and man, hearing a voice that isn't the voice of one of those demons that I created, is quite powerful.

I'm sure I have a couple demons lurking in my brain somewhere, hiding like a coward until it can prey on me in a weak moment, but for now, I'm fine.  I don't think the demons like me gazing at the stars, and breathing deeply and telling them to fuck off, but they can be strong in a weak, cowardly sort of way, and so they'll be back.

But I'm ready to electrocute them.  I have power inside, a fire inside and a short attention span for stupidity.

Plus, I have a pair of old Levi's in my closet that aren't going to where themselves. . .