Mind, Body & Spirit

It's been a long time since I contemplated the relationship between the mind, body and spirit.  I suppose it's because I got caught up in the web of the mind for quite awhile, and simply forgot about the spirit and disregarded the body.  Believe me, it's an evident fact.

This morning, I rolled myself out of bed, sleepy but determined to throw on a scarf, hat, gloves and heavy jacket for my morning walk.  And I did.  I got about a quarter of a mile and realized I never put Tony's clothes in the dryer, and without dry clothes he would 1) go to school in shorts or 2) rationalize that it was a reason to skip school.  I sighed and turned back home.  Women multi-task.  That's the point of that paragraph.

Back outside, I started to walk.  I thought about the characters in my book --- where I want them to start and where I want them to end up.  The voices, the stories, the looks, the laughs and the music played inside my head, weaving in and out of each other.  When I finally came back into reality, I had already walked a mile.

It got me thinking.  I can say that my mind took me on that journey through the characters, and that because I was using my body at the same time, I was able to fully engage in the process.  Yet, and this is the important part, I wasn't fully engaged in the process.  Something else took over.

I think that anyone who writes, plays a sport that requires focus, draws or builds plans can relate.  There is a period of time where your mind is not conscious of its actions or thoughts, it just does things, and next thing you know, an hour has passed and you're so excited that a product came out of it.

I am addicted to that part of things --- when my conscious mind turns off and I just exist in the area where I can float.  Sadly, when the mind, spirit and body are not connected, that area where I float is often occupied by an escape mechanism --- doing puzzles, playing games on my phone, scanning the web, drinking. . .

Today I recognized myself inside that mix of mind, body and spirit, and realized that when all three are connected in a healthy way, it's an amazing experience.

I always believed in "gut instinct" and listening to that voice inside of you, but I never put it all together.  Now, I believe that my "gut instinct" is really my fundamental self speaking to me --- the one that cautions me, kindly, against doing something I might regret later; the one that tells me to turn down a different road because the car on the side of the road looks suspicious, the one that checks in on my daughter and finds that she needed me to call her in that moment.

I realized that I am so lucky because that little voice --- that little me --- is my best friend.  It's like meeting someone who knows your entire past, your entire present, all the people you know, all the memories that made or broke you, all your fears, and all your thoughts.  She can then move between the good things, the important things, and advise you on where to go and what to say.   She's that spirit part of me.  My voice.  The one that gives me words. My brain gives me the ability to put them in order, but my voice tells me what to say, what emotion is tied to whatever I am thinking, and then we move and float until it's there.  I imagine it's a lot like putting a symphony together.

That's addictive.

The floating sensation inside is what is truly real --- the actual truth.  Here's an example:  There is a small house cat that that stops in front of you, stares directly in your eyes and hisses.
Your brain:  Fuck, that cat's possessed.  Your body:  tense, ready to run.  Your spirit:  it's a scared cat.

I know that's basic, but it's how I see it.  Your brain creates a story or a belief or a lie in order to rationalize the actions of the cat.

I don't know if any of this makes sense.  I really don't care either, if I'm honest.

Just feels good to physically sit here, let my brain work the keyboard, and write whatever comes to me.