I am just finishing up reading "A Prayer for Owen Meany" for the fifth or sixth time. I love this book! It's about faith, it's about miracles and it's about the imperfections of every character. We all have them, eh? Imperfections, or at the very least, people in our lives who have the imperfections.
Every time I read it though, I get depressed. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because it is a genius piece of writing, maybe it is because I don't know any Owen Meany's, but I would love to know an Owen Meany, or maybe it's because I have read it for the last two pregnancies (because I wanted my wombed children to know the ingenuity) and I was hormonal then, so I am hormonal now, or maybe it's because I have PMS. Ah, yes! That might be it! Of course, I've been reading for two weeks now (it's a long book), and my mood has been the same. So no, it's not PMS. I'll just blame it on the "female" thing - doesn't every other guy do that anyway??
Do you know that song "Babe" by Styx? For the first 40 seconds of the song it is an organ-like piano and then "Babe, I'm leavin'..."
So maybe I am showing my age, but damn, it's a sad song. I never got the "I'm leavin' but babe, I love you"... I never got that. Am I a "you" to anyone? You'd like to think it would be your husband, eh?
Whatever.... oooh- ooh-ooh-ooh-babe.
I told my brother Cliff that this might be a funky blog - I think I did, anyway. My last thought was that my kids may never know normalcy of a marriage. They'll see their parents, transparent obviously, but never anything close to normal. That bothers me so badly. Why does that bother me so badly?
And I suppose that there are a lot of marriages out there that are "faking" it. Don't fake it! For God's sake, don't fake it! Tell your wife you love her if you love her; tell your husband you love him if you love him! And if you have to pause and ask whether or not you love your husband or wife, or not, for God's sake, tell them that you love them during that pause! You do. You don't. You know. Don't you?
I feel like Owen Meany! A hero, eh? I think so.
But then again, I've had some Grey Goose...
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3 comments:
I don't know if this is any consolation to you, but I was very young when my parents divorced, and it always seemed "normal" to me... I remember going to my friends house and asked him, "Your dad lives here, too?" I thought it was so strange that his mom and dad lived in the same house. Everyone has a different situation - there's no such thing as normal anymore. Matt and I would always show affection for each other in front of the kids, and I was so happy they were going to grow up seeing their mom and dad actually happy to be around each other. So much for that. Pass the Grey Goose, please...
It is very consoling to me. The kids will be okay (mine and yours) - I was just feeling a little sorry for myself, I think. The Grey Goose really does do wonders sometimes though...
And you're correct - there is no "normal". Even the normal families/marriages have problems. I think we're doing okay (me and you) - our first priority are the children, that is plain to see, so how can they NOT benefit?
You're so cool, Andrea!
Hey, there are too many kids watching their parents faking it, knowing intuitively that it isn't genuine but trying to believe, the way they want to believe in fairies and ghosts and Santa. . . Ah, Grey Goose can be a catalyst for meditations I suppose. Cheers!
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