Learn Something New Every Day

I played some darts last night. I didn't have the same enthusiasm as I have had in previous weeks. It might be that my partner quit on me and I had to go solo, searching for a replacement. It might be that I've been in bed by 9pm every night, trying to shake whatever sickness seems intent on rising. It might also be because I spent the entire day in Arlington County, Virginia (just outside of D.C.) for no reason, other than to stroke the ego of one of the employees at the county. I drove two hours in traffic to make it to a casual meeting with this man so that I could get one of my sites completed, called him when I got to the office (as he insisted I do so that he'd be available), waited in the office for an hour, finally spoke with someone, then was told to wait again, and again. Finally, after all the work was completed that needed to be done before meeting with this guy, I called him and said, "Okay, ready for your review and sign-off. Call me when you get this." An hour passed, two hours passed. I got up from my seat every twenty minutes to have him paged again and again. After all, he's the one who set up the meeting. Little did I know, he decided to take a long lunch and was nowhere to be found. After three hours, an expired meter and many exasperated sighs, I picked up my phone and in the most professional way possible, I left a message that said, "Thanks for nothing, dirtbag."

Okay, the dirtbag part was absent of the message, but I let him have it! Here's what I actually said,

"Hi Mr. H, it's Carrie, sitting out on the cold chairs waiting for you. Hope that all is well with you since it is apparent that you have become tied up for some unknown reason. I've been here three hours and unfortunately, I have to leave because my daughter gets off the bus early today and I have a long drive back to MD." Dirtbag.

When he called back as I was snailing along Route 295 through D.C. traffic, he was unapologetic, stating succinctly that "I had meetings. What am I gonna do?" Um, not tell me that you're available; Um, not make an appointment with me and direct me to call you every ten minutes; Um, keep a promise? I ignored him and said, "Look, I just need a quick signature and then I'll be out of your hair. Can we meet on Friday?"

"Yes!" Really?
"Okay, I'll be there at 11:00 am," I answered.
"Can't do 11, I have a meeting until 11:30," he answered.
"Okay, I'll be there at 11:30."
"Make sure it's no later, lunch is at 12," he answered. Dirtbag. It's a precise name, normally reserved for someone else, but in this case, I've decided to share it.
"Hey, why don't you just turn around?. I leave at 3 today, but you can still make it in time." It was 2:35.
"I have to pick up my daughter," I answered curtly.
"Oooh..." he said, but it was a condescending "Oh", you know? Like, "Oh, she's one of those women..." Dirtbag.

It was a wasted trip. Almost.

As I sat there, I struck up a conversation with a kid. I say kid, but he was around 27-28 years old, but looked much younger. It might have been because his expressions were so kind, and his outlook so optimistic. The energy of that area of the country was electric, having just come off the inauguration. We spoke about that. Then, he mentioned his daughters, and I'm sorry, I thought "He must be one of those people who has kids with different woman and moves on." But no, then he mentioned his wife of six years. When he mentioned her, his face lit up. And we talked like we'd known each other forever. We talked about marriage and how tough it gets sometimes, and how it takes work and patience and love. We talked about commitment and when you make a promise, you stick with it. I immediately thought of the dirtbag I was waiting for, and of my dart partner who canceled, and my husband. He asked about my marriage and I said, "It seems that I married someone with an entirely different outlook on what it takes to succeed." He just nodded his head knowingly. By the end of the conversation, we were best friends. I said, "Keep your optimism and wisdom, and continue to be a hopeless romantic." And he said, "You too. It was a pleasure. Your ex must have been a moron."

This boy was an angel, I truly believe that. A few weeks ago, I met an 80 year old man with the exact same outlook, and now I meet this kid. I can only imagine when I meet that beautiful, single, 35-40 year old with the same viewpoint.

So the trip wasn't entirely wasted, I suppose. And I truly feel that there were two lessons for the day: One was to allow me a glimpse into what it takes to be patient; and the other was to re-emphasize the need to keep promises.

At the end of the day, I told the kids I was exhausted and just wanted to go to bed. Paige asked if they would still get a babysitter. I said, "Yes, I have darts tonight." She said, "But if you're tired, why not just stay home?" I answered, "Because I made a commitment to play and I have to be there." (Be impeccable with your word). And she understood.

At darts, a friend of mine said, "I hate looking at you. You're always so happy." (She was a little tipsy and is struggling through her own divorce). I guess I must have looked at her funny because she gave me a wide grin. I was thinking, "She has no idea the kind of day I had. But yeah, in the grand scheme of things, I guess I am happy."

It helps that I was aware of my blessings yesterday, I guess. After all, I met an angel, came home to a warm house, and snuggled with my babies. Oh, I also won at darts with my "stand-in" partner, who happens to be a good friend and neighbor. Not always happy, but hopeful.