Game Over

In the last seven months, I've gone on about seven first dates.  I have met some decent people, and for one reason or another, a second date didn't occur.  In the majority of the cases, I just didn't feel a connection and at 39 years old, I am no longer interested in exploring it ad nauseum only to realize three months later that my initial gut feeling was right on.  Why waste that precious time?

Perhaps it's the romantic cupid that resides in my heart, but I need to feel the butterflies on the first date so that I can get to the second or third or fourth date.  I haven't felt that in a long time, and that's okay because eventually, I'll be old and wrinkled and the butterflies will have long been dead.

I write this post because, as I said, I've gone on first dates and many of the men are really great people--just not great for me, and unfortunately, I should be more honest on the first date and just tell them that I'm not interested at that point.  Yet, I have this terrible habit of ruminating things, and by that time, they've lost interest or determined that I'm not interested.

I'm getting better though.  Yesterday, I met someone for a lunch date.  Initially, I had no interest in this man because he reminded me of my ex-husband in many ways and I didn't want to deal with that again.  Yet, he pursued me and asked for just a date-- just one date-- and if I wasn't interested, that would be the end of it.  So, I went to lunch with him. 

The conversation was great.  We laughed, we spoke of his line of work, of which I was very familiar because it was exactly what my ex does.  We talked about the death of our fathers -- not in depth, just a recognition of the pain.  We talked about football.  I'm a Bills fan.  I'm not likely to find a Bills fan in Maryland and so I've come to accept the Skins and Ravens fans, even cheering for them from time to time.  So I asked if he was a Skins fan or a Ravens fan.  When he shook his head, I knew that he was a Dallas fan--another thing in common with my ex.  I was okay with that, and I even made the mental note that it was okay as long as he didn't say that Dallas beat the Bills in two Super Bowls because every flippin' Dallas fan has to say that to a Bills fans.  And what do you know?

"It's okay you're a Bills fan--they're the underdogs-- after all, they lost twice to Dallas in the Super Bowl."

Way too familiar.

Having been divorced before, he did say something that I wholeheartedly agreed with:  "If there is a 1% doubt I have about the next woman I think I want to marry, I won't do it.  I want 40 years with my next wife."

"If there is a 1% doubt after the second date, I won't go on a third."  I answered, taking a sip of my water. 

In any case, this is a typical first date.  You test the waters, have a nice meal, share surface feelings, assess the looks, mannerisms and potential.  Then either call it a day, or mention interest in a second date.  Makes sense, right?

Now, let's get to the point of this blogpost and the title Game Over.

Sometime back, in a frustrated moment, I mentioned that the next person I dated would have to knock on my door and ask me for a date because on-line dating, picking people up in bars, etc. is just not something I'm comfortable with.  I'll go on blind dates or meet friends and hope there is a decent person within the crowd, or as I said, if he knocked on my door and asked for my number.

Never again.

This is funny though, and you'll see why.  My gutters were overflowing and in some places falling off my house, so I called a company to come and look at them, give me an estimate and get the work done.  When the two guys who would be doing the work showed up, I was in sweats and a yankees shirt, packing the truck to go to Ocean City at 7:30 in the morning--no makeup, no shower, nothing.  One of the guys asked if I was from New York because of my shirt, said he was a Yankees fan too and we had a nice conversation.

The estimate was finished and two weeks later, they showed up to do the work.  The nice guy was wearing a Yankees hat.  I said, "Nice hat."  He answered, "I wore it for you."  Nice--flirtatious, but not overkill.
They were there for about two hours and since I was working outside, I got to talk with the nice guy a little more. 

After I wrote the check and bid them good-bye, I went back into the house.  Several seconds later, the doorbell rang and the nice guy asks if I would be interested in going on a date with him.  I said sure and gave him my number.  Here is the text exchange (exactly as written):

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JULY 27

Him:
7:10pm - Carri its Barry (made up name) i got some things i got to take care of can i call u between 8 and 9

9:20pm -  I really hope i get to meet u and find out more about u

Me:
10:07pm  So sorry, my battery was dead.  Call tomorrow, ok?  Look forward to it.

Him: 
10:12pm - Cool i promice i will

JULY 28

Him:

11:57AM - Im getting off work early today what r u gonna do today would u like to kick it with me

Me: 
12:00pm - Would love to but I can't.  Have two interviews and son's football tonight.  My schedule is awful, just so u know.

Him:
12:02pm -Thats ok soon we can link up i hope

12:05 pm - Good luck on your job interviews

12:22pm - I dont mind kids thats a part of u i would like to get to know ya my son is 11 and hes a big part of my life i know busy thats ok

3:31pm - I really like u i dont like most i hope we can be cool

4:11pm - I had the best befor u r better

6:56pm - I am a good guy

7:00pm - Sorry i guess i back up now i hope u r ok

8:28pm - I just wanted u to b my friend first u couldent even b that good luck
 (1st time)

8:28pm - I just wanted u to b my friend first u couldent even b that good luck
(2nd time)

8:28pm - I just wanted u to b my friend first u couldent even b that good luck

(3rd time)

8:29pm - I wanted u to b my friend first

Me:

8:30pm -  Seriously?  I just got home from a busy day.  Appreciate the offer, but I'm not ready to drop my life for a date.  Sorry.

Him:

8:35pm - Sorry i drank tonight and i got issues from my last i need a new friend

Me:

8:36pm - I'm sorry, I'm not interested.  Please don't be upset.

Him:

8:37pm - Im not

8:43pm - Its cool i aint mad at u

8:57pm - If u meet me i think u would have liked me

8:59pm - If u woulda met me i think u woulda liked me goodbuy c

10:35pm - If u didnt want to b happy y did u text me

10:40pm - Im sorry i will stop real supposed to reconize real

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Game over. carri is dun with datin i promice u that dun friend u can be sur of that dun