Renewed? Refreshed? Really tired...

Another beautiful day. The evening birds are singing - God, they must be tired, having been at it all day. I imagine they are saying, "Alleluia! Praise the Lord! It's not raining, and wow, look at all these sticks we can use to build a nest, and all these trees!" Fall has always been my favorite season, but for some reason, Spring is bringing everything together for me. Renewal! Teeming with life! The chance to use my hands to work magic - planting a garden that in the summer months will have me chopping, and yes, canning (if I can get a quick lesson from my mom), and savoring the new tastes. Okay, so maybe summer slipped in there a little bit, but it's all about Spring, isn't it? Isn't this when people fall in love? People start making babies? People start making vacation plans around this time... what to do during the summer. If I could sit out on this back deck every day, in the clean air, listening to nature, with a laptop and a cool drink in my hand, for just one hour everyday, I wouldn't need a vacation!

It seems that the stress has finally caught up with me. I've had an amazing handle on it - yes, I lost it a couple times - but, I've been good, not overly anxious, no panic attacks, nothing but a few tears now and then. I've handled work meticulously, the kids amazingly and this divorce, well, okay, I guess. But guess what? The work got busier, the kids are more tired and the divorce, the actual divorce, is just beginning to emerge its disgusting head. And what happened to me? I got a viral infection in my inner ear and it's causing vertigo. I stand, my head spins. I sit, my head spins. I lay down to bed, and yep, my head is spinning. This, of course, is without alcohol! I have spent the last four days walking around as though I just stepped off the Topple Tower Ride at an amusement park. On top of that, I noticed my neck was tightening, so I went to the gym to work off some stress. I ran, I lifted weights, I did the elliptical... and I felt good. Now? Not so good. I can hardly walk because the squats and lunges bit me back... oh, the pain of working too hard at the gym. I swear, if I could get up from this chair and march down to that gym again, I'd... shoot, I don't know what I'd do. The gym scares me, and this is only day one. I can only imagine how I'll feel tomorrow. But, I must say, my triceps, ghostly white as they are, look decent.

But back to my point. Wait. What was my point? This motion sickness medicine I am on is making me loopy, I think. Oh, yeah. Renewal. Spring! Working at the gym, planting a garden, catching a nap... I'm tired, whooo, really tired. I think I'll take a cat nap right here in this beautiful Spring weather to the tune of robins, cardinals, orioles and the occasional Mack truck speeding down the road... and wake refreshed, with less stress, and inevitably, sorer muscles. But no matter, shuffling along with painful muscles suits me right now... I need to slow down so that I can start thinking about my vegetable plants, and planning my summer vacation.