If you're gonna walk... walk tall.

I had a bad day today. (I know, "a day is a day" but today was one of those days). Every few days it seems that there is something or someone who has to interrupt my reasonably happy existence and muddy the waters. Work is busy these days; the kids have me running around like crazy; but those two things are only 10% of the cause of stress in my life. I guess one can imagine where the other 90% comes in. But alas, I've learned that the sadness/pain/stress, etc. is just a wave and I have to jump up on the board, find my balance and ride it into shore. I'd say 95% of the time, I can ride it into shore just by picking up the kids from school, cooking dinner and sitting down to eat with them. Usually, that is all it takes. But today was different for some reason. I couldn't let go of the thoughts that were stressing me out. The anxiety was winning. After dinner, I sent the kids into their playroom to play "school" while I tried to let it go while cleaning up the dishes and making lunches. I was stressing but I knew I couldn't control how to decompress, so I had to let it go! I cleaned the dishes and started on the lunches... then Tony came into the kitchen and said, "I want to hear the guitar and piano." I had no idea what he was talking about until he said, "Bruce, Mommy." (Like, "well, duh!")

"You wanna hear Bruce?" I asked and he nodded.

My 3 year old son wants to hear Bruce? My 3 year old son wants to hear Bruce!!!

I skipped over to the stereo, put on "Rosalita" at full volume and picked him up to dance. We danced and laughed. When it was over, he said, "Again!" So I put it back on and started singing. The dogs got in on the action, jumping around and barking, Paige came in from coloring in the other room, grabbed Tony's hand and started spinning around. I belted out the words:

"Windows are for cheaters,
chimneys for the poor,
closets are for hangers,
winners use the door!"

And it hit me. My bad day was over. I rode the wave into the shore. And rather than use the window, climb through the chimney or hide in the closet until it passed, I used the door.

People escape by drinking - I've done it. I used to make love to the Grey Goose martini an awful lot after the kids went to bed and my husband got on his computer or zoned out in front of the TV. People escape by sleeping - I've been there. Sometimes the sadness is the best sleep aid around. People escape by cutting off friends and hiding - I've done it. It just makes the booze and the sleeping the only other options. And friends, family - they're the answer most of the time. Tonight, tonight was about me, and the kids, and the dogs, dancing. And it was about my best friend Bruce. "Rosalita, jump a little higher! Rosalita come put out my fire!"