He Finally Bought the Cow

They had been living in sin since Christmas, just after my mother sent them to live with us. I didn't approve but I kept my mouth shut. After all, the kids would have no idea that anything is wrong. For the past three years, that's all they've known of relationships. So, I was silent. The day finally came when I could rejoice. Paige and Tony were ready to host a wedding.

She dressed "Pretty" in a pink dress after some cajoling by me, not stating that white was an inappropriate color because of Pretty's loose morals, but that pink would look better with her complexion.  (Unfortunately, red and black were not part of Pretty's wardrobe). She was all for it.  Paige, wearing her newest set of PJs posed with the bride because she was the Maid of Honor.

Tony offered the nervous bride a cookie, which she refused as her back fat was already protruding from the fancy dress she wore.

So Tony, after stuffing his face with a chocolate chip cookie (those are not moles on his cheeks, but remnants of chocolate), took his place next to "Fluffy", the groom, as the best man.

Paige was very happy that Fluffy had finally decided to marry Pretty since Pretty, before coming to live with us, was not what one would call 'virtuous', nor was she a spring chicken anymore - if you get my drift.  The drugs, the rehab, the drinking and the prostitution would finally be behind her, as Fluffy was more than capable to care for her and her bastard child (which I was only made aware of recently). 

Here is a picture of the bride before the wedding.  She really does have a beautiful smile...  I can see why Fluffy's been banging her.

And here is a picture of the groom, looking somewhat complacent after having had four shots of bourbon in a span of three minutes.  (He had a flask hidden in his vest of which the children were not aware).  I really couldn't blame him, so I said nothing, after all Pretty was a handful, and he was taking on all of her medical bills, letting her sleep in his bed, and licking her sores from the numerous occasions we had to fight her off of Gracie.

Here is a picture of Gracie on the day of the wedding.  The look of fear on her face was captured after Pretty sidled up beside her and asked for a "quickie" before tying the knot with Fluffy.  Unfortunately, for Gracie, since Pretty is a bear and is so clearly attracted to dogs (see picture of bastard child below), Pretty didn't differentiate between the sexes.  The fact that Gracie is female had no bearing on Pretty's level of attraction.  Gracie, for all intents and purposes, was a victim, and so curled herself into the tightest position possible and tried to stay out of the way.

Here is a picture of the bride and groom after tying the knot.  Pretty's very ugly mutt is looking down on his new Papa.

Pretty is very happy.  Fluffy is loaded.

Several hours after the ceremony, I found Fluffy like this.  Pretty was in a different room with another stuffed animal, and unfortunately, was in a position that was unfit for picture taking.

The End