Another Year

 I took the day off today as a gift to myself for my birthday. Everyone should do the same. I awoke to Tony touching my shoulder, whispering "happy birthday" before he got in the shower to get ready for school. He placed my gifts next to me and waited for me to open them - sleepy-eyed and still remembering a vivid dream about my dad - which is a really great gift to get on your birthday.

After a hearty cup of coffee, and a conversation with my mom (who was the first to call me today) and a whole lot of pestering from Dovi, I laced up my sneakers and we headed to the trails for a walk.

.I had the music playing in my ears, shuffling my favorites - Springsteen, the Stones, Sofi Tukker, Houndmouth, Cage the Elephant and a little Tom Petty to make it more of a sing-a-walk-along. The trails were empty. We walked among fallen trees, bushes, briar and vines. Dovi was off leash and jumping in the pond every chance he got. Filthy Animal. 

After about two miles, we ran into a father and son on their bicycles. Actually they weren't on their bicycles. The father was splayed out on the wooden stairs that lead from one trail to another. He fell and cracked his tailbone and was still moaning in pain when we happened upon them. I asked if he needed help, if I could call someone, but he refused and said he just needed to rest a moment. They wished us a great day, and the adventure continued.

Then I saw a patch of blooming Daffodils situated in a circle amidst the leaves, vines, mud and dead branches. Very beautiful indeed. After that, I noticed all the beauty around me. Rather than the brown and gray of the winter trees, I saw birds marked with white or blue, heard the barup barup  of the bullfrogs, and watched Dovi go dizzy chasing the squirrels around the trees. And two raised hands waving at me - the father and son were back to riding on the trails.

It was the first time in about two months that I didn't feel a heaviness inside. January, February and a little bit of March are tough months for me - tough for my family too. The darkness creeps inside my bones and it's tough to shake. The sun hides behind the dark clouds and it takes quite a bit of effort to feel it on my face.

Then, my birthday comes and I feel okay. I made it another year. I have my gorgeous children, the LOML to spoil me, and a whole lot of family and friends wishing me a great day. 

And I have Dovi. He is nothing but a source of joy in our lives. Always happy.  Love pours out of him with every movement, every look he gives and every sound he makes.

Unless he's exhausted. Like he was last night, and will be tonight. I walked 4.5 miles today. He ran, jumped, splashed and zoomed the entire time. This is what I can expect from my source of joy this evening: 

He was snoring and snorting... my baby boy. 

Take a walk on your birthday this year, and make sure you don't go to work either. Love.