It's Been A While

It's still early morning.  The birds are still tweeting and twittering, soaring and nibbling on bird food just outside my door.  There are two red roses in a vase on my kitchen island.  The kids took a walk with the babysitter and stopped in at the flower shop just across the street.  They also baked a pumpkin pie with her.  They played games with her.  They went swimming while she was here.  They are now used to having a sitter because their mom needs to make the money, honey.

The bills were paid yesterday as I sat at my desk at work, nibbling on a salad and trying to get it all done.  I just took my last 800mg Ibuprofen.  My eyes are getting worse now too.

The last thing I want to do, after a full day of work, and a full evening of kids is get back on the computer and write again.  My day is spent reviewing contracts and revising words, words, words. . .
Yet, I am grinding my teeth at night again.  Am I stressed?  Not at all.  Work is not stressful, home is not stressful, my personal life is awesome.  So why am I grinding my teeth?

Because I'm not writing for pleasure.  I am hardly reading for pleasure (I open the book in bed, and wake up three hours later with the light on and the book open on my chest).

But today, I shuffle off to Buffalo for the Breast Cancer Walk!  The kids are running around the house this morning, gathering the essentials they'll need for the trip up - - - in the car, to share with the family and to get them through.  We will only be spending one full day there, destined to leave early on Sunday morning so we can get back into the swing of things here in Maryland.

Though I've known about the trip for months, I grappled to get flight tickets last week, and facing a $1500 cost to fly us all up for three days, it was decided that I would drive.  And perhaps that is all I'll need to get back on track with reading and writing.  The essential portion of myself might be reactivated after seven hours in a car, reflecting on it.  At least, that is my hope.

In any case, it's been awhile.  And I miss it.