Waiting

 The pandemic gave us a lot of home-time back in 2020. We could paint our walls, learn new recipes, or write the great American novel.  We were home.  We dropped the commute to and from work, and we couldn't go out.

You'd think, at least for me, more would've been accomplished.  But I think the pandemic, at least for me, slowed everything down.  Now, in 2022, where the pandemic is mostly behind us, I'm still stuck, a little bit, in 2020.  Waiting.

Because that's what 2020 was. It was a waiting game.  When will the hospitalizations go down? When will the restaurants open? When will the mask mandate be lifted? When could I get a spa pedicure again? I think many of us thought that it would just automatically end in 2021.  New year, back to the ol' grind, vacation from this alternate reality was over.  But that didn't happen.  The pandemic stretched into 2021.

The waist band of my sweatpants expanded as well.  I blame some of it on the sedentary lifestyle that was imposed - nobody knew if Covid was airborne, or if it could be caught by touching a flower.  We didn't walk as much, at least I didn't, and I spent a lot of time biting my nails, watching the news, and waiting.

Today, after a really long day of work - I've been home since it all started in 2020 - I took my puppy for a walk.  While he sniffed trees and ate goose poop, I looked around.  It was a dreary day - cold & rainy.  No one was outside.  Cars lined up at the curb of the local pizza place, and Door Dashers dropped food off on door steps, but that's it.  No life outside.

As I walked, I wondered if they were all just waiting for something to click to make it all return to how life was before isolation and sedentariness kicked in.  Then I saw buds on the wet tree branches, and noticed the daffodil bulbs sticking up through the ground, and thought: another cycle begins.  The thing is, I don't think I've noticed buds on the trees or daffodil leaves since 2020! That's a shame, isn't it?

I had a slight epiphany and an even slighter understanding of my psyche.  

Life goes on.  

I've been waiting for life to resume and it's been happening all around me.

I'll keep waiting, but with a different perspective.  This time I'll wait to see the buds blossom and the daffodils bloom.  And I'll watch them grow, and try to enjoy their beauty without worrying about anything else, at least for that moment I see them.