Happy New Year

There are parts of me excited to be embarking on a New Year, and there are parts of me dreading it.  There are parts of me wondering about the future; and there are parts of me dreading it. 

Ah... life.

I've realized that I didn't spend enough time with my dad.  Our relationship was cut short, and I need him. 

Every day, I need him. 

I am fortunate to see the tidbits - the quick snapshots of memories - and I realize that he is still here.  Still teaching me.

And ah.. .  life.

I wrote my list of resolutions today.  They are so very different from the lists of the past (i.e. lose weight, be nicer, make more money, find a nice man to date, etc., etc., etc.).

My house is nice.  Enough.
My body is nice.  Enough.
My job is nice.  Enough.

Everything is nice enough. 

I have everything I need.  I have EVERYTHING I need.

"What you don't have, you don't need it now.  Don't need it NOW."  (A line from a U2 song, indeed).

So, I crumpled up my list of resolutions, and made a new list:  What will make this upcoming year - a year of unknowns - better for Carrie?

1.  A boyfriend with abs like Rocky and a face like Josh Duhamel
2.  A bank account like Donald Trump's
3.  A house like Kim Kardashian's
4.  A body like Jennifer Aniston's
5. A best-selling novel like, ah, who gives a crap?  Like any best-selling novel. . .

I'm just kiddin'!

My list has nothing to do with any of the above, although I'd like all that.  But, man, I have everything I need.

I have a great family.
I have love, love, love surrounding me on a daily basis.
My kids are AMAZING.
My job is satisfying.

I guess my New Year's Resolution is to be grateful for what I do have.

Grateful.
Grateful.
Grateful.

The dread is gone.  I can only be grateful...

and maybe a little inspired to find Josh Duhamel. . .